Psychotherapy California

Adult Sibling Therapy in California

What adult sibling therapy is

Sibling therapy is a form of relationship therapy for adult siblings who want to better understand and change the way they relate to one another. It offers a space to slow down longstanding patterns, explore how your shared history has shaped your relationship, and have conversations that may be difficult to have on your own. The focus is not on deciding who is right or wrong but on understanding what happens between you and creating a relationship that works better for both of you.

Who this is for

  • you and your adult sibling keep having the same arguments without getting anywhere
  • you feel that your sibling doesn't understand—or doesn't seem to want to understand—your experience
  • you have longstanding resentment about how you were treated within your family
  • you remember your childhood very differently from your sibling
  • one of you feels that the other was favored, protected, criticized, or expected to take on a particular role
  • you have become distant or estranged and are wondering whether the relationship can be repaired
  • you are in contact but the relationship feels tense, superficial, or emotionally unsatisfying
  • a major family event has brought old dynamics back to the surface
  • you are dealing with decisions or disagreements about an aging parent
  • the death of a parent has changed the relationship between you
  • you want to understand each other better after years of misunderstanding
  • you love each other but don't know how to stop hurting each other
  • you simply want to have a different kind of relationship with your sibling as adults

Make a commitment together

Deciding to come to therapy is a meaningful step toward understanding each other and creating the kind of adult sibling relationship you want to have.

Understand your pattern

Explore the dynamics that keep you stuck in familiar roles, and learn new ways of relating to each other.

Build a different relationship

You can't change the childhood you shared, but you can decide how you want to relate to each other now.

Frequently asked questions

Do both siblings need to want therapy?

Ideally, yes. Sibling therapy works best when both people are willing to participate and are curious about their own contribution to the relationship—not only about what the other person needs to change. If one sibling is unsure, it can still be worth having an initial conversation to explore whether therapy might be useful.

Do we need to have a good relationship to begin with?

No. You can come to therapy because you are close and want to strengthen your relationship, or because you are struggling to communicate at all.

What if we have very different memories of our childhood?

That's okay. In fact, that can be an important part of the work. The purpose of therapy isn't to determine whose memory is correct. We can explore what each of you experienced and how those experiences have shaped the relationship between you.

Will you take sides?

No. My role is not to decide who is right or wrong. I will, however, be attentive to what happens between you in the therapy room, including patterns that may be difficult for either of you to see on your own.

Can sibling therapy help if we're estranged?

It can, provided both siblings are willing to participate. For some siblings, therapy is about rebuilding a relationship. For others, it may be about understanding what happened, deciding what kind of contact is possible, or finding a way to relate with clearer boundaries.

What if we don't want to become close again?

That's completely valid. Therapy doesn't have to have reconciliation as its goal. You get to decide what kind of relationship you want—including a relationship that has more distance, clearer boundaries, or limited contact.

Do you work with siblings who live in different places?

Yes. Sibling therapy can be conducted via telehealth when the applicable licensing and jurisdictional requirements are met. In my case you would both need to be located within the state of California as that is where I am licensed.

How many sessions will we need?

There is no standard number. Some siblings come for a small number of focused sessions around a particular issue. Others choose to work together for longer, particularly when there is a longstanding relational pattern they want to change. We can discuss what makes sense for you after learning more about your situation.

Ready to get started with adult sibling therapy in California?

Reach out